Bob Goes Abroad

Dear Martha,


The sandwiches you packed for my lunch during that airplane flight got compacted when the stewardess stuffed my backpack into the little hole above my seat and so it was a little hard to tell where one sandwich ended and another one began. I started to eat them when I was on layover in Frankfurt but they were so dried out and squashed that I lost my appetite halfway through and went hunting for something else.


Well I had seen a little restaurant down one of them long wide hallways in these big airports and so I thought I would run up there. I left my backpack by my seat and that must have been a bad idea because when I got back there was a big dog and about six or seven police officers around my bag and the dog was sniffing the sandwiches.


I asked one of the police men what was the matter and why was that dog sniffing at my sandwiches and he said it was a genuine bomb-sniffing dog. Martha, what did you put in them sandwiches??


Well the police man he said I looked like a pretty innercent fellow but I’m not supposed to leave my backpack lying around like that when I am not with it. So now I have to lug it along with me whenever I need to go to the bathroom or anything.


Anyway, so I had got something to eat at that restaurant and the waitress wouldn’t take my money, she said it wasn’t no good. I told her, “Ma’am I earned that money in honest labor and you bet your life it is good money.”


Well she got annoyed and said something I couldn’t understand. Martha I don’t get why so many of these people in different airports and places don’t talk good plain English, I can’t understand them when they don’t. But she just kept on talking jibberish until some big guy with a tie came running up, I think he was the manager. He talked plain and said he couldn’t take my money since it wasn’t “Urose” or something like that.


I said to him, “Well where can I get some of these “Uroses” you’re talking about?” He led me down to this place where this cross-looking woman with hair that looked like it was falling out was taking money from people and giving them a different kind of money. So I got in the line with the man and got some “Urose” and then went back to the restaurant and got all settled with the manager. Apparently there was a sign that said they only took “Urose” but I sure didn’t see it.


Well after that event I went back to my seat which is when the thing with the sandwich bomb happened.


I sat down on them hard narrow seats to take a bit of a breath and started looking around at people which sure is a good past time when there isn’t anything else to do. I saw this tall woman with some fat in her middle in a real tight shirt and high heels and her little suitcase trailing along behind her.


One of them zippers wasn’t zippified real good and since she was walking fast and not looking where she was going, her little suitcase hit the edge of a row of chairs and knocked over to the side and burst wide open and pill bottles and wild-looking clothes went everywhere.


Some people went to help her but I didn’t. I was laughing too hard and I almost got emphysema I laughed so hard, I am sorry Martha I know that wasn’t nice of me. I will try not to laugh next time that happens.


Well it is about time to board another one of these airplanes Martha so I have to get going. I love you and the children and I miss you. I hope them boys are being good. Have they got that tree that blew down on the fence cut up and stacked in the woodshed yet? Remember I told them they couldn’t go fishing with Edjah’s boys until they did. Tell the baby I send her a hug. Is she eating them pickled hog jowls yet or is she still stuck on the feet?


Love Bob

3 thoughts on “Bob Goes Abroad

  1. Oh dear! I fear you are still your same yarn-spinning self! We are very thankful that you are fine and healthy and happy. Praise the Lord for getting you there safely and letting you see and experience new and different things! God’s mercies are new every morning. May His kingdom come!!! Love, gma

  2. Funny story! But I’m guessing it was true with just some name changes to protect your identity haha! 😂😉 Be safe and enjoy this new opportunity to grow in Christ and tell others of Him!

    1. Haha no it was all from my fertile imagination. 🙂

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